horror movie opening scene

  1. white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
  1. white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
  1. white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
  1. white boy: lmao
  1. they continue walking for a few seconds
  1. *white couple hears noise*
  1. white girl: babe what that??
  1. white boy: i'll go investigate
  1. *leaves her alone*
  1. *choking noises*
  1. white girl: zack!!!
  1. white boy: ha ha just kidding!
  1. white girl: asshole!
  1. white boy: im just playin babe
  1. white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
  1. *playful kiss*
  1. *things turn sexy*
  1. *hear noise*
  1. white boy: i'll go investigate
  1. *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
  1. *maybe a thud*
  1. white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
  1. *she walks and he dead*
  1. white girl: ahhh!!
  1. *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
  1. white girl: ahhh!!!
  1. *white girl runs*
  1. *dead end*
  1. *hides*
  1. *thinks she free n safe*
  1. *guy catches her*
  1. *cuts her*
  1. *she dead*
  1. opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D
darkmoonfall:

This will never not be funny

darkmoonfall:

This will never not be funny

(via tardishearts)

wonnderr-lusttt:

looow-tus:

undftdaniel:

defend-sissy-boy-emo:

jadelyn:

holypuckingcow:

abbysetcetera:

Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own. 

and mixing them with vodka

At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.

And then regretting your decisions the next morning.

Because you have to work.

and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.

and vodka

(Source: asexualarmin, via docwholvr)

stfuprolifers:

stfuconservatives:

foxes-of-harrow:

theymightbebeatles:

lavender-labia:

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I WILL NEVER STOP LOSING IT AT “FUCK YOU LADY.”

Oh my god the “FUCK YOU LADY” is the best

YESSS THIS POST IS BACK

The physics and “FUCK YOU LADY” are definitely my favorite ones.

(via docwholvr)

offbeatchina:

A Chinese middle school history teacher draws a world map on blackboard in min

(via i-hug-trees-when-im-lonely)

smilefor-medarling:

Some of these are so awkward, and some are great, and there’s that one with the dad that’s just 100% heartbreaking.

(Source: owmeex, via docwholvr)

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